Something I have really been thinking about lately is that a lot of YA (and adult) books market both romance interests as being equal just because they could kill each other. In a lot of very popular books, ones I have enjoyed myself, the power balance is supposedly equal between the fmc and the mmc because they could kill each other. No matter if this is unrealistic, often one of them has had an incredibly in depth amount of training and the other one is still dabbling their toes in their pool of power. That is one of the basics that I really enjoy in two of my favourite couples, Sam and Celaena from Throne of Glass, and Paedyn and Kai from Powerless (the later is complex tho with a few other factors like that he has a much higher social standing than her and more resources so its not equal, it just a step towards it)

However being able to kill each other and being equals both in the relationship and in power are very different things. If the fmc is young, has only just inherited her kingdom, is struggling with the grief of losing her parents/sibilings/mentor, has a war brewing on her borders, is insecure in her own grasp of her countries economic and millitary powers and does not have the support of the people and nobility then she is NOT equal to a secure king whom has been ruling for several years, is excepted and stable in his rule and knows the ins and outs of his kingdom. Of course, it is a little bit murkier than that in most books, especially as they tend to give the fmc a shedload of unpredictable power that somehow makes her the chosen one and often make the mmc the key to securing her kingdoms survival but the basics remain.

They are not equals if they do not share the same emotional and social support (often main characters can be quite alone in their stories without parents/mentors or even friends they can rely on. this means that they latch onto the love interest as the only person they can trust, but they often cant quite trust them because plot reasons. By social support I mean social standing, the prince/princess falls in love with the commoner story is very very common in its different iterations, but is that a balanced and equal relationship if one has the power to completely destroy the others life/family if they dont do what they want?

They are not equals if she relies on him for something – in the book i am reading now she literally relies on him to prove her innocent otherwise she will hang! This does not make an equal power dynamic and for the rest of the relationship there is always going to be the thing is she only staying with him because of some kind of unspoken expectations?

I am so tired of reading books where the characters are constantly described as being eachothers equals, but in reality one (to be honest usually the mmc but I have read it the other way around and it is equally toxic) is incredibly more powerful than the other one in social standing or money or power or just experience. It is one of the reasons I always steer clear of any books marketed as boss/employee or age gap because that is the most obvious power inequality in the fiction world. Its not just in strict Romance too, in fantasy romance and in paranormal romance and in genres that dont even have romance as a big thing in it! At some point in practically every YA book I have read they end up in an unequal power dymanic.

Lets take a genre – paranormal. I admit I havent read many truly exceptional books in paranormal yet because I have only just started reading it so any recs would be great! But back to the genre. Vampires/werewolves/fae are a complex and interesting (and usually) immortal races but some how they so often end up dating the young school or college aged girl. This is a classic example of how power dynamics can be skewed towards one of the characters almost as a genre defining milestone. But it doesnt have to be why cant vampires date other vampires? or other immortals? why has this power dynamic become such a staple of the genre when it isnt even really want the genre is.

Sometimes I even really like the couple! sometimes i am rooting for them to get together! When the book is so strong in other areas it can be overlooked I do but it is still there.

Secrets – especially identity secrets – also can end up really mismatching the power dynamic of a couple. If the reader knows that one of the characters did something that is completely unforgivable to the morals of their love interest, or that their secret is going to make them view them completely differently then it is really hard not just to hate that trope. Secrets/miscommunication can be so so good if got right, really interesting points in relationships when they open up (and I am talking platonic relationships too) or highlight a stress area that is always going to be between the characters then its perfect! it works so well and gives their relationship weight and complexity. But if it tips over into one character is keeping a secret which gives them huge power over the other then that is really not equality.

The thing about reading a novel book is that no book (at least that I have read) has completely no problems. They all have small things, and I can pass over those, usually little things here and there don’t bother me. But the power inequality between especially romantic interests has been driving me up the wall lately because it is just so rampant. I have to say that is what I enjoy in middle grade and books that arent based on romance and it only comes in much much later.